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Four Months

by Arbor Daze

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1.
Everyone Everyone is so sorry so sorry so so so Take the words from someone else filter them all through yourself everything good people do printouts, stamps and Hallmark, too good people like you (What even do you do now when your grief is not your own they pried it from our hands and brought it out of our own home) Everyone Everyone is so sorry so sorry
2.
When I was very small you hung the stars all around my bed roughly one billion constellations you remembered all of them Don't you hate the ones that smile? All the hours in a day? Don't they know the ones they love, those ones will slowly, slowly shrink away? I am very small and there are stars exploding through my head roughly one billion consolations rejects, all of them But don't you hate the ones that smile? All the hours in a day? Don't they know the ones they love, those ones will slowly, slowly shrink away, shrink away? If not now someday What the hell can I do what can I do what the hell can I do without you? I wish I knew And I am very small very small, very small I wish I knew
3.
Hell 03:06
You'll miss me when you're gone You said That's what you said But how can you miss When you're dead, just dead There you are waving from across the river bend my hell just beginning with yours at its end No feelings underground Where nothing grows Nothing shows No taking back the sound Hearts beat fast Hearts beat slow There you are waving from across the river bend my hell just beginning with yours at its end
4.
Disbelief 03:29
Would it be easier If I believed in something instead of going on just believing in nothing We're just walking in circles now We're just walking in circles and the stages keep repeating and the stages keep repeating And now, here we are How now, future bizarre How is all happened so damn fast in the crowds our eyes downcast as the stages they outlast It just all happened so damn fast It just all happened so damn fast but would it be easier would it be easier If I believed in something Just believe in something Just believe in nothing
5.
A body betrayed Two years? Five years! Down the drain I'm the one who got away Yes I'm the one who got away Float like a dying leaf Detached from every kind of tree You're the one who didn't see You're the one, you absentee And I never knew, until recently This is what my life is going to be Waiting for girls in emergency rooms Waiting for girls to look beyond their own doom Where the hell were you, when I needed you most? Where the hell were you I swear that you seemed so close You seemed so close The day I comforted you At the graveside of my own devastation I was already breaking you just finished the job
6.
Tracks 04:08
Tell me love, will our bodies open up like petals in the sun? like petals in the sun Don't worry love, it'll be so quick but beautiful be dutiful Can you hear the whistle? Can you hear the whistle? Take my hand Come on, take my hand lay down Tell me love, will our bodies open up like petals in the sun? like petals in the sun
7.
Exit Yet 03:14
Are things really looking up I don’t know But I’m keeping both eyes open I’m not turning my back on the exit sign I’m not turning my back on the exit yet On the exit yet
8.
You don't have to worry about the world what they say about the war cannot be true you don't have to worry about the world what peace I have in my life comes from you Rest assured lay your head beside me and be still the trees outside your window may not be there tomorrow but I will

about

Dedicated to the memory of my Dad - Dan Fuehring 1950-2015.

credits

released September 22, 2016

Arbor Daze is Aspen Koch.

All music and lyrics written by Aspen Koch, except "Worry About The World" music and lyrics by Dan Fuehring.

Recorded from May-August 2016. Engineered, produced, mixed and mastered by Kris Savitski.

Aspen Koch - guitar, keyboards, vocals, percussion
Kris Savitski - additional percussion and keyboards
Shahida Abdulsalam - vocals on "Tracks"
Dan Fuehring - vocals and guitar on "Worry About The World"

Cover photograph courtesy of Jim Anderson.

Thank you to Kris Savitski, Shahida Abdulsalam, Victoria Koch, Fuehring fam, Marie Arthur, my neighbors, and friends.

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Arbor Daze Portland, Oregon

angst and chill

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